Phew! Did it feel like last week was buzzing?
We are still working with those energies until the end of this week as we move into the opportunity for deepening our sense of accountability.
April 22, Gate 27-Gate of Accountability
Self-responsibility, Caretaking, Nurturing
This one can reach waaaay back, I’m talking multiple generations!
When we care for others, if we’re not really clear where our responsibility starts and ends we can slide right into over-caring, in essence “smothering” those we love.
Accepting that other people may have different values and that it’s part of their personal growth to take responsibility for their own challenges and choices can feel extremely challenging. If you are a person who has a tendency to let guilt (from consciously or unconsciously imposing your values and beliefs) cause you to compromise what is good and right for you, gate 27 has some gifts to offer.
The quality of how well you care for yourself will determine the quality of energy you have to authentically care for others.
It’s this abundant overflow we get to share from, if your vessel isn’t filled, then you are already working from a deficit.
Self care looks different for everyone and I’m talking about legitimate nourishment, not the distractions and indulgences we often disguise as “self care”.
We’ve got to courageously and consciously look at those practices we keep if we’re looking for something to shift.
Some Questions to Contemplate
Am I taking responsibility for things that aren’t mine to be responsible for?
Whose problem is it?
Can I return the responsibility for the problem back to its rightful owner?
What role does guilt play in motivating me?
Can I let go of the guilt?
What different choices might I make if I didn’t feel guilty?
What obligations do I need to set down in order for me to take better care of myself?
Are there places where I need to soften my judgments of other people’s values?
“ I have a nurturing and loving nature. It is my gift to be able to love and care for others. I know that the greatest expression of my love is to treat others as capable and powerful. I support when necessary, and I let go with love so my loved ones can discover their own strength and power.”
(Contemplations and affirmation source, Curry Parker, Karen. 2022 Quantum Human Design Evolution Guide: Using Solar Transits to Design Your Year. Human Design Press. Kindle Edition)
Self responsibility and self care can be sadly misunderstood. I’ve most certainly gone to both ends of the spectrum before finding a sense of balance .
One of the ways I deeply care for myself and others is to teach people skills they can use for a lifetime versus a quick fix or band-aid approach.
Let’s take an unborn baby chick. It has all the nourishment it needs inside its shell to sustain itself as it navigates the process of a breakthrough into the world.
This struggle is vital to the strength and survival of the fuzzy little critter. If you were to feel bad that the chick has to work so hard, and “help it out” you could actually be taking away this important opportunity for it to build resilience and live!
Getting caught in the trap of felling guilty and just doing the thing for people because they want to feel good now with as little work as possible has taught me that is a fast track to burnout and it’s disempowering to the other person. They need those experiences to grow and thrive.
Creating and holding boundaries IS self responsibility!
Yup, been there caving into what other people think I should value and I felt absolutely miserable!
Other times I have chosen the correct actions for myself, let the boundaries I created based on my true values work for me and be an example of how that works.
Boundaries are like a fence around your home. It creates a place of safety and respite, keeping what is important to you in and what may be harmful out.
Asking the question, “whose problem is this” or “where does this belong” is so clarifying!
Empowering ourselves to know where those boundaries are and respecting them is one of the single most caring actions we can take for ourselves and the people we love.
Some other examples might be moving your body, getting out in nature, mediation, creative projects and pursuits, reading, playing with your dog, journaling, observing gratitude in your life, positive inner conversation, breathing, taking a nap, eating clean food, spending time with people you enjoy without an agenda, giggling for no real reason.
You get to choose how much you unpack here.
If you feel called, deep dive into the gifts of this energy. Do some journaling, maybe some meditation, it’s a really juicy time to lay a brilliant new foundation.
Love you all, enjoy the process!
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